Our Parents are Getting Old and Some of Us Are Not Prepared....

That Moment When You Realize Your Parents Are Slowing Down

Being home alone and noticing your parents have been gone for an extended amount of time, and then feeling your anxiety set in when the phone rings.

Feeling overwhelmed with the prospect of having to care for them when not only have they stunted your ability to care for yourself, you don't know the first thing about funerals, burial insurance, or even where the body goes right after they pass.

Sensing that their health is starting to fail them, but they keep quiet about it. Despite that you're all too aware that a sense of foreboding has settled and you start to feel a shoe hovering right over you waiting to drop.

Speaking of, the ever present feeling of knowing that one day one or both of them may not return, or one of those calls ending up being the one that breaks the news to you that something has happened that has made "one day" "day one" of them not being in the world....

Glancing at your dad in the security camera hobbling up the steps with his back bent and noticing that he's attempting to hold on to the handrail to make it up the last few.

You don't often notice your parents getting old until they start visibly showing signs of it, and then it hits you. One moment they're giving your lunch money, and the next, you're having to accompany them to doctor's appointments and getting constant lectures about how one day they will not be here and that you will need to suddenly learn the ins and outs of all the things that they could've been teaching you this past decade (instead of being toxic), not now when they're starting to slow down.....

The Struggle to Care for Others and Ourselves is Increasing

You wonder, when did the roles switch? When did I become the one constantly worrying? A lot of times, against my will?

In my parent's case, they have not produced a goshdarn thing. A bad habit of expecting one to know something but not ever taking the time to teach them....which has done nothing except prevent me from being able to assist them, by the way.

And the fact is only made worse by the growingly rapid deterioration of the world, economy, and society. Everybody no matter what age are struggling with making ends meet. The reality solidifies more and more whenever I see an elderly person working at Walmart or the grocery store. Social Security, I imagine, isn't cutting it anymore.

People are moving back in with their parents, unable to adapt to the constant rent increases, price hikes, and rising cost of living. If young people can barely care for themselves, what does that bode for the older generation, who are also moving in with their kids, by the way?

I remember reading somewhere that domestic violence and home disputes shot up during the pandemic. Why? Probably because people were forced to be in the same spaces for longer periods of time. Work, school, and plenty more activities give people a chance to have a break from one another. The pandemic took that away.

I can only imagine what it's like for people to have worked so hard to get away from that environment, only to be forced back in it because being on your own has gotten too difficult.

Everyone is struggling in one way or another.

As someone who has been attempting to leave the nest for some time now, seeing things like this happening only discourages me from doing so, which frustrates me greatly.

It is absolutely a bad joke that everything decided to go to HE-Double Hockey Sticks now that it's our turn.

Some of Us Weren't Given the Tools

Having the added responsibility of potentially having to care for your parents when the country is on the verge of collapse (depending on who you ask), and having to think about how they will be cared for, protected (in case civil war breaks out because I don't know how to fight or shoot well at this moment), or who they will be able to fall back on in the event you don't have the resources to help them out is enough to drive anyone up the wall.

The transition from being the one worried about and taken care of to becoming the worrier and having to do the caring can be a subtle, but jarring one when it finally sets in. And the worsening state of the world doesn't do any favors.

Out of nowhere, suddenly I am expected to know what land tax is, receiving family heirlooms, and having to bring myself up to speed on so many things all at once.

If your parents have narcissistic tendencies, it's even worse because not only do you have to play catch up, but having to learn how to adjust to the world, navigate it, and take care of yourself at the same time is already hard enough. And because narcissists have a tendency to try and control every aspect of your life, you can imagine how worse it is having little guidance or roadmaps to follow. AND BEING AUTISTIC AT THAT.

Being Overprotective Won't Help Your Children

If you are a parent who has a bad habit of infantilizing your children or sabotaging any progress they make or could be making, you are not doing your children or yourself any favors.

Purposely keeping your children codependent is the worst thing you could do for a child who will one day have to learn to function without you. One day you will need someone to care for you, and your bad decision to keep your kids under your thumb WILL backfire when they inevitably are unable to.

The time for teaching your children about how to best live in this world is not when you're already on your way to being in a wheelchair and needing to lean on your kids more than you're used to.

In the possibly VERY near future, we'll all have to rely on each other WAY more as the ever more prominent attempts to make our lives harder increase.

We don't need to contribute to it. Teach your children. Let them fail. Quit trying to undercut them because of your paranoia and desire to control their every move. Tell them your plans.

Leaving us in the dark will only hinder us as the world gets darker.